§§ The Dispatch · Vol. IIINumbered field notes · Weekly

The Dispatch

XLVIII

No XLVIII · Separation · 5 min

The first 30 days after she says it's over

A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.

25 Apr 2026

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce and superannuation

Super is often the biggest asset on the table, and the most misunderstood. Splitting orders, accumulation vs defined benefit, the uplift factor question, and why ignoring super in settlement is the most expensive mistake men make.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce and the business you built

The business is your work, your identity, and now an asset on the property pool. Valuation methods, the goodwill question, post-separation contributions, small business CGT, and whether to keep operating during settlement.

28 Apr 2026 · 9 min

No · · DIVORCE

When she cheated, the property question

Most men assume infidelity affects the property settlement in Australia. It usually does not. What does affect it (waste, dissipation, family violence), the grief vs strategy split, and why making the settlement punitive almost always backfires.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · DIVORCE

The consent orders walkthrough

Most settled divorces in Australia end with consent orders, not a court fight. Here is what they are, what the forms ask, what they cost, and how long the court takes to stamp them.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce with international assets

A UK pension. A flat in Auckland. A US brokerage account. Foreign assets do not sit politely outside an Australian property settlement, and pretending they do is the most common, most expensive mistake.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce and your credit rating

Joint debts do not divorce themselves. They follow you onto your credit file, sometimes for years after the marriage has ended. Here is what to monitor and what to dissolve, in the order that matters.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · DIVORCE

Self-represented vs represented

Lawyers are expensive, the forms are intimidating, and the middle ground (advice without full retainer) is more available than men realise. Here is when to do it yourself, when not to, and how to do it well if you choose.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · DIVORCE

The cost of fighting vs settling

The numbers nobody quotes you upfront. Mediation, consent orders, and what a contested matter actually does to your bank account and your nervous system.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce and your tax returns

The CGT rollover, the super split, the date that matters, and the trap of getting the year of separation wrong with the ATO.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · DIVORCE

Divorce, the second time

Less surprise, more grief at the pattern. The financial concentration. The kids who are older. What you know now you did not know first time.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · DIVORCE

When the paperwork is finally done

The numb anti-climax of the divorce decree. Why it does not feel like an ending. The grief that arrives unexpectedly. Carrying on without ceremony.

28 Apr 2026 · 6 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

The handover routine that works

The handover is not a transaction. It is a transition, and your kid's nervous system reads it harder than you do.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

The school pickup truce

The school gate is not a battlefield. It is a public stage with a small audience of one. Behave accordingly.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Birthdays as a divorced dad

Two parties, one party, no party, the wrong party. The kid does not need a referendum. He needs a cake.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Christmas and the rotation

The first Christmas is the worst. The third is better. Build the new ritual; bury the old one with respect.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Talking to your kid about her new partner

He tells you on the way home from soccer. Your face has about two seconds before it gives you away. Use them well.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

The second house fit-out

The second place doesn't need to match the first. It needs to feel real. Here's what to spend on, what to skip, and how long before the kids stop calling it "Dad's house" and start calling it home.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

When the kid says she wants to live with Mum

Almost every divorced dad hears this sentence, eventually. Most of the time it doesn't mean what your stomach thinks it means. Here's how to read it, how to respond, and how to know when it's a real signal.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Co-parenting with someone you can't stand

Some exes are difficult. Some are genuinely impossible. Co-parenting across that gap is a long game with no applause. Here's the operating model that actually holds up: business partner, written record, scripted phrases, no JADE.

28 Apr 2026 · 9 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

The rules each house keeps

Two houses, two rule sets. Not because anyone failed at alignment, but because that's how kids work. Where to insist on consistency, where to let it go, and what to say when the kid reports back.

28 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Holidays overseas after divorce

Taking the kids overseas as a divorced dad: passports, the consent rules, what the form looks like, what to do if she won't sign, the Hague Convention reality, and how to plan a trip that actually happens.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Co-parenting a teenager after divorce

Toddlers travel light. Teenagers don't. They have friends, jobs, gym sessions, a social map drawn on top of a postcode. Co-parenting them across two houses means letting some of the rulebook go and holding a handful of things hard.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

Co-parenting a toddler after divorce

The years you thought would be the easy ones, because the kids are small and pliant and don't yet have an opinion, are the structurally hardest years to co-parent. Attachment doesn't ask permission. It just gets built, or doesn't.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No · · CO-PARENTING

The new partner introduction

There's a six-month rule. There's a reason for the six-month rule. There's also the trap of waiting so long that you accidentally teach your kids she's a secret. Both ends of the dial cost you. Read your kid, not the calendar.

28 Apr 2026 · 8 min