The Dispatch
No XLVIII · Separation · 5 min
The first 30 days after she says it's over
A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.
No · · HEALTH
Protein targets for men over 40
1.6 to 2.2 grams per kilo of bodyweight, spread across the day. The number that quietly decides whether you hold muscle past 50.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · HEALTH
Zone 2 and VO2 max, the actual metrics that matter
Two cardio numbers predict how well you'll move into your seventies. Most men train in the grey zone between them.
26 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · HEALTH
Sleep as a training input
Most men over 40 treat sleep as overhead. The data says it is the largest single recovery lever you've got.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · HEALTH
Coming back from an injury without restarting
Full rest is yesterday's protocol. Relative rest plus structured loading gets you back faster, and stronger than before.
26 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · FINANCE
The Australian FIRE number, calculated honestly
Most FIRE calculators are American. Here's how I run the number for an AU context, with super, tax, and a realistic withdrawal rate.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · FINANCE
Super vs ETFs vs property, the real comparison
Three asset classes, three tax treatments, three return profiles. Here's how I split capital across them and why.
26 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · FINANCE
The three-ETF portfolio that beats most active funds
Three tickers, one rebalance a year, no stock picking. Here's the AU-resident portfolio I'd defend in front of any active manager.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · FINANCE
Property as an investment, the honest version
I own four properties. Here's what the property spruikers won't tell you about returns, costs, and the years that quietly bleed.
26 Apr 2026 · 9 min
No · · FINANCE
Debt recycling, explained
Debt recycling turns non-deductible mortgage debt into deductible investment debt. Here's the mechanic, the maths, and the risks.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · FINANCE
Lifestyle creep, the quiet killer of wealth
Lifestyle creep doesn't show up in a single decision. It compounds across hundreds of small ones, and it'll outlive any pay rise.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · HEALTH
The annual health check men skip
BP, lipids, glucose, skin, mood, plus the screens specific to men past 40. The 30-minute conversation that quietly saves lives.
26 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
The night you tell the kids
The conversation you cannot rehearse your way out of, and the 24 hours that follow it. Practical, plain, no script that survives contact with a seven-year-old.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
When it's you who wants to leave
Most separation writing assumes she initiated. This is the other case. Steady, honest, no self-flagellation and no swagger.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
Separation under one roof
Separated but still living in the same house, often because the Australian housing market makes anything else impossible. The legal status, the household rules, when to actually move out.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
The property snapshot, week one
You are not moving money. You are not hiding anything. You are quietly building the asset baseline so that in six months, when the lawyers ask, you have a clean answer.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
Telling the in-laws
Her parents will hear her version first. That is not a problem to solve. It is a fact to accept, and the way you accept it sets the tone for the next ten years.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
Separation and the mortgage
The mortgage does not pause because your marriage did. Joint debt, redraw, offset, refinance: what to touch in week one (almost nothing) and what to plan for properly.
28 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · SEPARATION
Separation without an affair
No infidelity, no addiction, no abuse. Just two people who eroded. The hardest separation to explain, because there is no story to tell, and people need a story.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
When she won't leave
You have separated. The kids need stability. She refuses to move out and you can't (or shouldn't) leave. Exclusive occupation, what the courts actually grant, and what to try first.
28 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · SEPARATION
The six-month review of your decision
Around month six, the doubt arrives uninvited. It is not evidence that you got it wrong. It is the grief curve doing its job, and the sunk-cost voice borrowing your father's accent.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · SEPARATION
Separation, second time around
The second separation is not the first one with more practice. It is a different beast. Older body, older kids, more permanent money. Some things hurt less. A few things hurt more.
28 Apr 2026 · 8 min
No · · SEPARATION
Separation and men's mental health
Separation is one of the highest-risk windows in a man's life. Not metaphorically. Statistically. The data is direct, and so is the response: notice, ask, be asked, stay close.
28 Apr 2026 · 9 min
No · · SEPARATION
The friend list, after separation
The friend group reorganises itself within months of a separation. Some friends were hers all along. Some surprise you. The honest reality is that a few of them were friends with a husband attached, not with you.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min
No · · DIVORCE
The 12-month separation rule, explained
Australia makes you wait a year before you can apply for divorce. Most men misunderstand what counts and what restarts the clock. Here is the rule, in plain English, with the traps men actually fall into.
28 Apr 2026 · 7 min