§§ The Dispatch · Vol. IIINumbered field notes · Weekly

The Dispatch

XLVIII

No XLVIII · Separation · 5 min

The first 30 days after she says it's over

A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.

25 Apr 2026

No XLVII · SEPARATION

The conversation you saw coming

How to start the talk you've been rehearsing in the shower for six months. A practical guide to the words, the room, the aftermath.

25 Apr 2026 · 4 min

No XLVI · SEPARATION

The conversation you didn't

When she ends it and you didn't see it coming. The first 72 hours, the stories you'll tell yourself, and what to actually do.

25 Apr 2026 · 4 min

No XLV · SEPARATION

Ten questions to ask yourself before you decide

A self-interrogation guide for the man considering ending his marriage. Not advice. Questions. The hard ones, in order.

25 Apr 2026 · 5 min

No XLIV · SEPARATION

Signs the marriage is failing: explained

The patterns that show up before the conversation does. Not a checklist of doom, a checklist of honesty. Read it slowly.

25 Apr 2026 · 5 min

No XLIII · SEPARATION

Moving out without burning it down

The logistics of the first move. What to take, what to leave, what to document, and how to keep the kids steady through it.

25 Apr 2026 · 5 min

No XLII · SEPARATION

The first week of living alone

The unfamiliar quiet of a flat that isn't yet home. A practical and honest guide to the first seven days on your own.

25 Apr 2026 · 4 min

No XLI · SEPARATION

Separation vs divorce in Australia, the bit nobody explains

What separation actually is in Australian law, why divorce is the easy bit, and where the real money and time goes. Plain English.

25 Apr 2026 · 5 min

No XL · DIVORCE

What divorce actually costs in Australia

The real cost of divorce isn't the filing fee. It's the eighteen months of lawyer hours, missed work, and the second mortgage you didn't see coming.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXIX · DIVORCE

Mediation vs court, which path fits you

Mediation works when you both still want to be reasonable. Court is what you do when one of you stops. Pick honestly.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXVIII · DIVORCE

How to prepare for mediation, properly

Mediation isn't a conversation. It's an exam. The blokes who walk in prepared walk out with a deal they can live with.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXVII · DIVORCE

The divorce paperwork walkthrough

Divorce in Australia is one application, one fee, one hearing you might not even have to attend. The actual hard paperwork is everything else.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXVI · DIVORCE

Settlement, what a fair deal actually looks like

Fair isn't 50/50. Fair is the s79 four-step process applied honestly. Most blokes don't know what they're entitled to or what they're giving up.

25 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXXV · DIVORCE

Protecting your assets without being a prick

There's a clean version of asset protection that's just good record-keeping and disclosure. Then there's the version that ends careers. Stay in the first one.

25 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXXIV · DIVORCE

Prenups, postnups, and binding financial agreements

BFAs aren't just for the rich. They're a tool, with a price tag, a procedure, and a real-world strike rate that nobody quotes you upfront.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXIII · DIVORCE

The essential steps when divorce is coming

The 90 days before separation are worth more than the next 18 months combined. Here's the order of operations that actually matters.

25 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXXII · CO-PARENTING

Telling the kids, by age

How to tell children their parents are separating, calibrated to age. What works at 4 won't land at 14, and pretending otherwise hurts.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXXI · CO-PARENTING

50/50 or not, the honest conversation

Equal-time parenting sounds fair on paper. The honest version is messier, and the kids' age and your geography matter more than ideology.

25 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXX · CO-PARENTING

Father custody rights in Australia, in plain English

What Australian family law actually says about fathers and custody, with the 2024 reforms factored in. No mythology, no scare stories.

25 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXIX · CO-PARENTING

Child support, the formula explained

How Services Australia calculates child support: the eight steps, what each parent's income does to the number, and the result.

25 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXVIII · CO-PARENTING

Co-parenting apps actually worth using

The three apps separated parents pick, what each does well, and why the right answer depends on how much conflict you're managing.

26 Apr 2026 · 6 min

No XXVII · CO-PARENTING

The step-by-step guide for divorced dads

A 12-month playbook for the practical stuff: emotional, parental, financial, legal. In the order you'll actually need it.

26 Apr 2026 · 9 min

No XXVI · MENTAL HEALTH

Finding the right therapist (as a man who's never tried)

Cancelled my first session twice. Here's the practical map I wish I'd had before I sat in the car park rehearsing what to say.

26 Apr 2026 · 7 min

No XXV · MENTAL HEALTH

The emotional stages of divorce, and how each one breaks you

Denial, grief, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. They cycle like weather. What each stage feels like, and what helps.

26 Apr 2026 · 8 min

No XXIV · MENTAL HEALTH

Loneliness after divorce, ten things that actually help

Bought a hose fitting I didn't need just to talk to the bloke at Bunnings. Ten things that moved the needle on post-divorce loneliness.

26 Apr 2026 · 8 min