Things worth reading,
once a week.

Short, practical essays from men who’ve been through it. No growth hacks, no ten-step plans. Just the stuff a good older brother would tell you.

§ Separation05

§ Featured · field note

The first 30 days after she says it's over

A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.

Read the piece →5 min · 25 Apr 2026

§ Archive240 / 240

02SeparationThe conversation you saw coming4 min25 Apr 2026
03SeparationThe conversation you didn't4 min25 Apr 2026
04SeparationTen questions to ask yourself before you decide5 min25 Apr 2026
05SeparationSigns the marriage is failing: explained5 min25 Apr 2026
06SeparationMoving out without burning it down5 min25 Apr 2026
07SeparationThe first week of living alone4 min25 Apr 2026
08SeparationSeparation vs divorce in Australia, the bit nobody explains5 min25 Apr 2026
09DivorceWhat divorce actually costs in Australia7 min25 Apr 2026
10DivorceMediation vs court, which path fits you7 min25 Apr 2026
11DivorceHow to prepare for mediation, properly7 min25 Apr 2026
12DivorceThe divorce paperwork walkthrough7 min25 Apr 2026
13DivorceSettlement, what a fair deal actually looks like8 min25 Apr 2026
14DivorceProtecting your assets without being a prick8 min25 Apr 2026
15DivorcePrenups, postnups, and binding financial agreements7 min25 Apr 2026
16DivorceThe essential steps when divorce is coming8 min25 Apr 2026
17Co-ParentingTelling the kids, by age7 min25 Apr 2026
18Co-Parenting50/50 or not, the honest conversation7 min25 Apr 2026
19Co-ParentingFather custody rights in Australia, in plain English8 min25 Apr 2026
20Co-ParentingChild support, the formula explained8 min25 Apr 2026
21Co-ParentingCo-parenting apps actually worth using6 min26 Apr 2026
22Co-ParentingThe step-by-step guide for divorced dads9 min26 Apr 2026
23Mental HealthFinding the right therapist (as a man who's never tried)7 min26 Apr 2026
24Mental HealthThe emotional stages of divorce, and how each one breaks you8 min26 Apr 2026
25Mental HealthLoneliness after divorce, ten things that actually help8 min26 Apr 2026
26Mental HealthMental health support for divorced men, where to find it8 min26 Apr 2026
27Mental HealthOnline therapy options, compared8 min26 Apr 2026
28Mental HealthBuilding a support network when you don't have one9 min26 Apr 2026
29LegalThe 'best divorce lawyer' question, answered properly7 min26 Apr 2026
30LegalYour first meeting with a family lawyer6 min26 Apr 2026
31LegalNavigating child support as a divorced father8 min26 Apr 2026
32LegalDivorce rights in Australia, the basics8 min26 Apr 2026
33FinanceFinancial planning after divorce, seven moves that matter7 min26 Apr 2026
34FinanceRebuilding your life after divorce7 min26 Apr 2026
35FinanceThe single-income mortgage conversation7 min26 Apr 2026
36CareerThe day you get made redundant6 min26 Apr 2026
37CareerUnderstanding your redundancy rights7 min26 Apr 2026
38CareerHow to job-search after 408 min26 Apr 2026
39CareerThe LinkedIn rebuild7 min26 Apr 2026
40CareerContracting or permanent, after redundancy7 min26 Apr 2026
41CareerTalking about being made redundant7 min26 Apr 2026
42FatherhoodThe third-trimester prep list7 min26 Apr 2026
43FatherhoodWhat the birth is actually like (for the partner watching)8 min26 Apr 2026
44FatherhoodThe first six weeks with a newborn, by the hour8 min26 Apr 2026
45FatherhoodHow the relationship shifts after the baby7 min26 Apr 2026
46FatherhoodParental leave in Australia, explained for dads7 min26 Apr 2026
47FatherhoodStaying yourself as a new dad7 min26 Apr 2026
48HealthWhy your old workout doesn't work anymore7 min26 Apr 2026
49HealthThe four lifts that matter after 407 min26 Apr 2026
50HealthProtein targets for men over 407 min26 Apr 2026
51HealthZone 2 and VO2 max, the actual metrics that matter8 min26 Apr 2026
52HealthSleep as a training input7 min26 Apr 2026
53HealthComing back from an injury without restarting8 min26 Apr 2026
54FinanceThe Australian FIRE number, calculated honestly7 min26 Apr 2026
55FinanceSuper vs ETFs vs property, the real comparison8 min26 Apr 2026
56FinanceThe three-ETF portfolio that beats most active funds7 min26 Apr 2026
57FinanceProperty as an investment, the honest version9 min26 Apr 2026
58FinanceDebt recycling, explained7 min26 Apr 2026
59FinanceLifestyle creep, the quiet killer of wealth7 min26 Apr 2026
60HealthThe annual health check men skip7 min26 Apr 2026
61SeparationThe night you tell the kids7 min28 Apr 2026
62SeparationWhen it's you who wants to leave7 min28 Apr 2026
63SeparationSeparation under one roof7 min28 Apr 2026
64SeparationThe property snapshot, week one7 min28 Apr 2026
65SeparationTelling the in-laws7 min28 Apr 2026
66SeparationSeparation and the mortgage8 min28 Apr 2026
67SeparationSeparation without an affair7 min28 Apr 2026
68SeparationWhen she won't leave8 min28 Apr 2026
69SeparationThe six-month review of your decision7 min28 Apr 2026
70SeparationSeparation, second time around8 min28 Apr 2026
71SeparationSeparation and men's mental health9 min28 Apr 2026
72SeparationThe friend list, after separation7 min28 Apr 2026
73DivorceThe 12-month separation rule, explained7 min28 Apr 2026
74DivorceDivorce and superannuation8 min28 Apr 2026
75DivorceDivorce and the business you built9 min28 Apr 2026
76DivorceWhen she cheated, the property question8 min28 Apr 2026
77DivorceThe consent orders walkthrough7 min28 Apr 2026
78DivorceDivorce with international assets8 min28 Apr 2026
79DivorceDivorce and your credit rating7 min28 Apr 2026
80DivorceSelf-represented vs represented8 min28 Apr 2026
81DivorceThe cost of fighting vs settling8 min28 Apr 2026
82DivorceDivorce and your tax returns7 min28 Apr 2026
83DivorceDivorce, the second time7 min28 Apr 2026
84DivorceWhen the paperwork is finally done6 min28 Apr 2026
85Co-ParentingThe handover routine that works7 min28 Apr 2026
86Co-ParentingThe school pickup truce7 min28 Apr 2026
87Co-ParentingBirthdays as a divorced dad7 min28 Apr 2026
88Co-ParentingChristmas and the rotation7 min28 Apr 2026
89Co-ParentingTalking to your kid about her new partner8 min28 Apr 2026
90Co-ParentingThe second house fit-out7 min28 Apr 2026
91Co-ParentingWhen the kid says she wants to live with Mum8 min28 Apr 2026
92Co-ParentingCo-parenting with someone you can't stand9 min28 Apr 2026
93Co-ParentingThe rules each house keeps7 min28 Apr 2026
94Co-ParentingHolidays overseas after divorce8 min28 Apr 2026
95Co-ParentingCo-parenting a teenager after divorce8 min28 Apr 2026
96Co-ParentingCo-parenting a toddler after divorce8 min28 Apr 2026
97Co-ParentingThe new partner introduction8 min28 Apr 2026
98Co-ParentingCo-parenting and special needs9 min28 Apr 2026
99FatherhoodThe first night home from hospital7 min28 Apr 2026
100FatherhoodThe second-month fog7 min28 Apr 2026
101FatherhoodWhen she has postnatal depression8 min28 Apr 2026
102FatherhoodWhen you have postnatal depression8 min28 Apr 2026
103FatherhoodThe witching-hour survival6 min28 Apr 2026
104FatherhoodIntroducing solids without losing your mind7 min28 Apr 2026
105FatherhoodThe six-month sleep regression7 min28 Apr 2026
106FatherhoodThe first real illness7 min28 Apr 2026
107FatherhoodThe first twelve months of marriage after baby8 min28 Apr 2026
108FatherhoodBalancing work and newborn, realistically8 min28 Apr 2026
109FatherhoodBaby number two, the different game7 min28 Apr 2026
110FatherhoodBeing the default parent as a dad8 min28 Apr 2026
111FatherhoodThe dad friend network7 min28 Apr 2026
112FatherhoodThe first birthday and what it marks6 min28 Apr 2026
113HealthTestosterone after 40, the honest version8 min28 Apr 2026
114HealthWhen the scan finds something7 min28 Apr 2026
115HealthThe prostate test conversation8 min28 Apr 2026
116HealthMen's cardio, the old rules are wrong7 min28 Apr 2026
117HealthMobility as the new strength7 min28 Apr 2026
118HealthAlcohol and recovery after 407 min28 Apr 2026
119HealthThe stress fracture no one warns you about7 min28 Apr 2026
120HealthThe lower-back truth after 408 min28 Apr 2026
121HealthThe resting heart rate tell6 min28 Apr 2026
122HealthThe belly fat explanation7 min28 Apr 2026
123HealthMen over 50 and the lift floor7 min28 Apr 2026
124HealthSkin cancer checks as a routine7 min28 Apr 2026
125HealthWhen you stop being able to run7 min28 Apr 2026
126FinanceThe 50-by-50 mortgage payoff7 min28 Apr 2026
127FinanceSuper and the balance cap, explained8 min28 Apr 2026
128FinanceThe emergency fund after 406 min28 Apr 2026
129FinanceInsurances you actually need as a dad8 min28 Apr 2026
130FinanceThe tax return mistakes that cost you7 min28 Apr 2026
131FinanceEstate planning, the blokes' version8 min28 Apr 2026
132FinanceThe family trust question8 min28 Apr 2026
133FinanceRedundancy payout, what to do7 min28 Apr 2026
134FinanceOne-income household finances7 min28 Apr 2026
135FinanceThe ten-thousand rule of investing7 min28 Apr 2026
136FinanceNet worth tracking without the spreadsheet trap6 min28 Apr 2026
137CareerThe mid-career pivot decision8 min28 Apr 2026
138CareerThe six-month runway after redundancy7 min28 Apr 2026
139CareerThe first week after the call6 min28 Apr 2026
140CareerThe two weeks after the call: what to do7 min28 Apr 2026
141CareerThe CV rewrite for men over 458 min28 Apr 2026
142CareerThe first interview after five years7 min28 Apr 2026
143CareerWhen the recruiter ghosts you6 min28 Apr 2026
144CareerStarting your own thing after being let go8 min28 Apr 2026
145CareerThe second redundancy7 min28 Apr 2026
146CareerThe counter-offer question7 min28 Apr 2026
147CareerPivoting from corporate to trades8 min28 Apr 2026
148CareerThe network you thought you had7 min28 Apr 2026
149CareerBreaking into a new industry at 458 min28 Apr 2026
150CareerThe week you take off after redundancy6 min28 Apr 2026
151Mental HealthThe first time you cry as an adult man6 min28 Apr 2026
152Mental HealthThe anger after it all7 min28 Apr 2026
153Mental HealthDepression vs burnout, knowing the difference8 min28 Apr 2026
154Mental HealthThe suicidal thought that drops in8 min28 Apr 2026
155Mental HealthSSRIs, the conversation no one has8 min28 Apr 2026
156Mental HealthThe morning after the bad night6 min28 Apr 2026
157Mental HealthWhen the rumination won't stop7 min28 Apr 2026
158Mental HealthThe fear of not being useful7 min28 Apr 2026
159Mental HealthThe dad shame spiral7 min28 Apr 2026
160Mental HealthMen's Shed and other grounded options7 min28 Apr 2026
161Mental HealthThe 12-month mental health check-in7 min28 Apr 2026
162Mental HealthWhen you realise it isn't just stress7 min28 Apr 2026
163Mental HealthThe friend who can hold the bad stuff6 min28 Apr 2026
164Mental HealthBreath and cold water, the overrated and underrated7 min28 Apr 2026
165LegalThe cost disclosure document, explained7 min28 Apr 2026
166LegalLimited vs full retainer7 min28 Apr 2026
167LegalWhen you don't need a lawyer7 min28 Apr 2026
168LegalMediator vs arbitrator vs lawyer7 min28 Apr 2026
169LegalThe affidavit walkthrough7 min28 Apr 2026
170LegalThe court day, what to wear, what to say7 min28 Apr 2026
171LegalAVOs from the man's perspective8 min28 Apr 2026
172LegalConsent orders vs binding financial agreement8 min28 Apr 2026
173LegalLegal Aid eligibility for men7 min28 Apr 2026
174LegalThe power of attorney conversation7 min28 Apr 2026
175LegalThe living will, Australia7 min28 Apr 2026
176LegalWhen she files first7 min28 Apr 2026
177LegalWhen you file first7 min28 Apr 2026
178LegalDuty of disclosure, explained7 min28 Apr 2026
179LegalThe one-stop divorce myth7 min28 Apr 2026
180LegalSubpoenas and third-party disclosure7 min28 Apr 2026
181HabitsThe first 90 days without alcohol8 min28 Apr 2026
182HabitsWhy quitting drinking is different after 407 min28 Apr 2026
183HabitsThe 3am test, day 3 without alcohol6 min28 Apr 2026
184HabitsAlcohol and anxiety, the loop7 min28 Apr 2026
185HabitsModeration vs abstinence8 min28 Apr 2026
186HabitsWeed, the functional user question7 min28 Apr 2026
187HabitsThe first month without weed, honestly7 min28 Apr 2026
188HabitsWeed and sleep architecture7 min28 Apr 2026
189HabitsPorn, the 90-day audit8 min28 Apr 2026
190HabitsPorn and the dopamine recalibration8 min28 Apr 2026
191HabitsRelapse without the shame spiral6 min28 Apr 2026
192HabitsThe tools that actually work for quitting8 min28 Apr 2026
193HabitsThe trigger map7 min28 Apr 2026
194HabitsAlcohol and the witching hour, after the kids7 min28 Apr 2026
195HabitsThe AA question as a non-religious man7 min28 Apr 2026
196HabitsWeed and motivation decline7 min28 Apr 2026
197HabitsThe friend-group question when you quit7 min28 Apr 2026
198HabitsThe sponsor vs therapist difference7 min28 Apr 2026
199HabitsThe 90-day after photo6 min28 Apr 2026
200HabitsThe 2am relapse script6 min28 Apr 2026
201FamilyThe call that says Dad is dying7 min28 Apr 2026
202FamilyThe six months of anticipatory grief7 min28 Apr 2026
203FamilyThe funeral as a task, not an event8 min28 Apr 2026
204FamilyAfter the funeral, week three7 min28 Apr 2026
205FamilyThe grief burst, twelve months later7 min28 Apr 2026
206FamilyThe estate as the eldest son8 min28 Apr 2026
207FamilyThe sibling fight after the funeral8 min28 Apr 2026
208FamilyThe letter from Mum6 min28 Apr 2026
209FamilyWhen the parent needs care, and doesn't know it8 min28 Apr 2026
210FamilyThe conversation with Dad about the licence7 min28 Apr 2026
211FamilyAged care in Australia, the actual options9 min28 Apr 2026
212FamilyBeing the favourite child and the burden7 min28 Apr 2026
213FamilyBeing the not-favourite child and the grief7 min28 Apr 2026
214FamilyDementia, day one8 min28 Apr 2026
215FamilyThe care team as a shadow family7 min28 Apr 2026
216FamilyWhen Mum is already gone7 min28 Apr 2026
217FamilyThe grief that skips a year7 min28 Apr 2026
218FamilyWhen the parent is still difficult8 min28 Apr 2026
219FamilyPower of attorney with an ageing parent7 min28 Apr 2026
220FamilyThe wills conversation no one wants7 min28 Apr 2026
221RelationshipsDating again at 40, the first month7 min28 Apr 2026
222RelationshipsThe apps as a divorced dad7 min28 Apr 2026
223RelationshipsThe first date after 15 years6 min28 Apr 2026
224RelationshipsWhen she asks about the divorce6 min28 Apr 2026
225RelationshipsMeeting her kids vs her meeting yours8 min28 Apr 2026
226RelationshipsThe six-month rule after divorce7 min28 Apr 2026
227RelationshipsThe marriage going quiet, the honest signs8 min28 Apr 2026
228RelationshipsThe resentment list and what to do with it8 min28 Apr 2026
229RelationshipsCouples therapy when only one of you wants it8 min28 Apr 2026
230RelationshipsThe three months of trying, explained8 min28 Apr 2026
231RelationshipsRealising you're gay at 458 min28 Apr 2026
232RelationshipsComing out with a mortgage and three kids8 min28 Apr 2026
233RelationshipsTelling your wife: the coming-out conversation8 min28 Apr 2026
234RelationshipsTelling your kids about coming out8 min28 Apr 2026
235RelationshipsThe first week of being out7 min28 Apr 2026
236RelationshipsWhen the extended family doesn't take it7 min28 Apr 2026
237RelationshipsThe bisexual conversation8 min28 Apr 2026
238RelationshipsFinding your people late7 min28 Apr 2026
239RelationshipsThe relationship after the coming-out8 min28 Apr 2026
240RelationshipsThe five-year mark after coming out8 min28 Apr 2026

Things worth reading,once a week.

The first 30 days after she says it's over

Things worth reading,
once a week.