The divorce paperwork walkthrough

The divorce hearing took eleven minutes. I joined by phone from my car in a Westfield car park. The registrar asked two questions, confirmed my name, granted the order. By the time I'd walked back into Coles I was officially divorced. Eleven minutes, after eighteen months.

The hearing is the easy part. The paperwork around it is where blokes get tangled.

There are actually three paperwork streams running in parallel during a typical Australian divorce, and most men confuse them. Sorting them out is the first useful thing you can do.

The three streams

• Divorce itself. Ending the legal marriage. One application, one fee, one (often phone) hearing. This is the small one.
• Property orders. Dividing the asset pool. Either consent orders (you agree, court rubber-stamps) or contested orders (you fight, court decides). This is the big one.
• Parenting orders. Care arrangements for kids under 18. Either consent orders or contested. This is the other big one.

You can do all three, or just the first, or just the first and second, in any order. They're separate processes that share a court but not a file. Most men I know got divorced (the small one) months or years after settling property and parenting. Some never bother with the small one, which is fine until you want to remarry.

Stream 1: the actual divorce application

Eligibility, in order:

• Married. Have a certificate. (If overseas marriage, an Australian-recognised one.)
• Separated for 12 months. The clock starts the day you decide the marriage is over and tell each other. Doesn't matter if you keep living under the same roof (separation under one roof is a thing, requires extra evidence).
• One of you is an Australian citizen, ordinarily resident, or domiciled here.

If kids under 18 are involved, the court also needs to be satisfied that proper arrangements are in place. You don't need orders, you just need to be able to describe what's happening for them.

The actual filing:

• File via the Commonwealth Courts Portal (online). Account, password, two-factor, the works.
• The application is the Application for Divorce form. A lot of clicks, not a lot of intellect.
• Filing fee: around the $1,100 mark (reduced fee available for concession card holders, currently around $370).
• Upload the marriage certificate (translated and certified if not in English).
• Sign the affidavit (in front of a JP or solicitor).
• Choose: sole or joint application. Joint is cleaner and skips the service step.
• If sole, you have to serve her with the sealed copy. Process server costs about $100 to $200, or a friend over 18 can do it (but not you).

Hearing is set, usually 2 to 4 months out. If joint application or no kids under 18, you don't need to attend. If sole and there are kids under 18, you do (phone or in person).

The order takes effect one month and one day after the hearing. That's the date you're divorced. Save the certificate. You'll need it for remarriage, name changes, occasionally super death-benefit nominations.

Stream 2: property orders

Two paths, very different paperwork.

The consent orders path (you've agreed):

• Application for Consent Orders. This is the form. Long. Detailed.
• Annexure A. The actual proposed orders. This is the binding bit.
• Statement of agreed facts (assets, liabilities, super, contributions).
• Filing fee: around $170.
• File via the Portal. Registrar reviews. If satisfied it's just and equitable, orders are made without a hearing.
• Time-limited: must be filed within 12 months of divorce becoming final, or 2 years from end of de facto.

This is the path you want. It's binding, it's enforceable, it triggers stamp duty exemption on property transfers, it lets you split super under the Family Law Act. Skipping consent orders because you "trust each other" is one of the most expensive mistakes blokes make.

The contested path (you can't agree):

• Initiating Application (Family Law).
• Affidavit setting out your case.
• Financial Statement. Itemised income, expenses, assets, liabilities.
• Notice of Risk if any safety / family violence issues.
• Filing fee: higher, around the $400 to $500 mark.
• Service on the other party.
• Then disclosure (mutual exchange of financial documents).
• Then case management events, possibly interim orders, conciliation, trial.

Disclosure is where the actual labour lives. You'll be ordered to produce three years of tax returns, bank statements, super statements, business records, and anything else relevant. Failing to disclose is a fast way to lose credibility with the court (and judges have long memories).

Stream 3: parenting orders

Same two paths.

Consent orders path:

• Same Application for Consent Orders form, with parenting orders attached as Annexure A (or its parenting equivalent).
• A parenting plan can be a private agreement, written, signed, dated. It's not binding but it's evidence of intent. Useful as an interim or as a stepping stone.
• Consent orders for parenting are binding (which is the point).

Contested path:

• Mandatory Family Dispute Resolution first (FDR). You need a section 60I certificate to file.
• Initiating Application (parenting).
• Affidavit.
• Notice of Risk.
• Care arrangements proposal.

If family violence is an issue, the FDR requirement is waived. Get the right certificate.

The order I'd actually do it in

Knowing what I know now:

• Get separated, mark the date in writing somewhere (an email to her saying "I confirm we separated on X" is enough).
• Build the document pack (12 months of bank statements, super, tax returns).
• One fixed-fee lawyer consult.
• Mediate property and parenting together if possible.
• File consent orders for property and parenting.
• After 12 months separated, file divorce application (joint if she'll cooperate).
• Update super death-benefit nomination, will, life insurance, emergency contacts at school, the lot.

The last bullet is the one men forget. Your will doesn't automatically cancel a former spouse's beneficiary status until divorce is final. Your super death-benefit nomination almost certainly still names her. Update everything the week the orders come through.

Things that trip men up

• Thinking divorce divides assets. It doesn't. Divorce ends the marriage. Property orders divide assets. They are different forms.
• Missing the 12-month time limit to file property orders after divorce. Courts can grant leave out of time, but it's not a given.
• DIY consent orders that the registrar rejects. The form is fiddly. Get a lawyer to draft Annexure A even if you've agreed everything. A couple of hundred bucks for peace of mind.
• Filing without serving properly. The court won't list it for hearing if service isn't proven.
• Forgetting to update beneficiaries. Super, life insurance, will. Update them.

On forms generally

The Australian family law forms are dense. Most are designed for self-represented litigants in theory, lawyers in practice. You can fill them out yourself. You probably shouldn't fill them out alone. A two-hour solicitor session reviewing your draft is the cheapest insurance you'll ever buy.

File once, file properly.