Your first lawyer appointment
What it costs, what to bring, what to ask, and the two questions every first meeting must answer before you walk out.
What it costs, what to bring, what to ask, and the two questions every first meeting must answer before you walk out.
The first time I sat in a family lawyer's waiting room, I noticed three things in this order: the carpet was beige in a way carpet hasn't been beige since 2003, every other person waiting looked as gutted as I felt, and the receptionist had a tone of voice that suggested she had heard absolutely everything and was no longer surprised by any of it.
That hour cost me $440. I left without an answer to either of the questions I needed answered. I want you to do better than that.
This module is about getting maximum value from your first appointment with a family lawyer in Australia, whether you are paying full freight, on Legal Aid, or somewhere in between.
Family law fees in Australia vary by state, firm size, and the seniority of the lawyer. As a rough guide for a first consultation in 2026:
A note on Legal Aid: the income thresholds are tight, but if you are recently separated, suddenly running on one income, and have kids, you may qualify even if you wouldn't have a year ago. Worth applying.
Three things to do first.
Walking in with a folder of the right things turns a $500 hour of "let me ask you some basic questions" into a $500 hour of actual legal advice.
Bring:
If you don't have her financial documents, that is fine. Bring yours. The lawyer will explain how disclosure works.
Junior lawyers in family firms write down what their clients ask in the first meeting. The good clients ask roughly the same things. Steal their list.
Walk out of that meeting with answers to these two. If you don't have them, you have not had your meeting.
Question one: What is my realistic property settlement range?
In Australia, property is divided under section 79 of the Family Law Act using a four-step process: identify the asset pool, assess each party's contributions (financial and non-financial, including parenting), assess each party's future needs, and decide what is just and equitable. The lawyer cannot give you an exact number on day one. They can give you a band. ("Based on a 14-year marriage with two kids and roughly equal incomes, you are likely looking at a 45-55 split, possibly 40-60 in her favour given the kids' ages.")
If they refuse to give you any band at all, push. "I understand it depends. Give me the wide band." A lawyer who can't give you any range is either being too cautious or doesn't know yet.
Question two: What is the realistic parenting arrangement, given our situation?
Parenting in Australia operates under the principle of the best interests of the child, with a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility (which is about decision-making, not time). Time arrangements vary widely. The lawyer should be able to tell you, given your kids' ages, your work pattern, and the geography, what arrangements are common and what a court would likely order if it went that far.
You want a specific picture. Not "every case is different". Yes, every case is different. Ask anyway.
Within 24 hours, while it's fresh:
A lawyer is for: the law, the strategy, the paperwork, the negotiation, the court if it gets there.
A lawyer is not for: feelings, processing, late-night reassurance, deciding whether to leave or stay, telling you what to do with your kids' Sunday afternoon, fixing the relationship.
Every minute you spend crying in their office is billed at $500/hr. Cry to your mate, your therapist, your brother. Use the lawyer for law.
Two questions. Two opinions. One folder. Done.
A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.
5 minHow to start the talk you've been rehearsing in the shower for six months. A practical guide to the words, the room, the aftermath.
4 minWhen she ends it and you didn't see it coming. The first 72 hours, the stories you'll tell yourself, and what to actually do.
4 minA self-interrogation guide for the man considering ending his marriage. Not advice. Questions. The hard ones, in order.
5 min