Your first lawyer appointment

The first time I sat in a family lawyer's waiting room, I noticed three things in this order: the carpet was beige in a way carpet hasn't been beige since 2003, every other person waiting looked as gutted as I felt, and the receptionist had a tone of voice that suggested she had heard absolutely everything and was no longer surprised by any of it.

That hour cost me $440. I left without an answer to either of the questions I needed answered. I want you to do better than that.

This module is about getting maximum value from your first appointment with a family lawyer in Australia, whether you are paying full freight, on Legal Aid, or somewhere in between.

What it costs

Family law fees in Australia vary by state, firm size, and the seniority of the lawyer. As a rough guide for a first consultation in 2026:

• Free initial chat (15-30 min): many firms offer this. Useful for vibe and fit. Not enough for actual advice.
• Paid first consultation (1 hour): typically $350-$650 in metropolitan areas, sometimes more for senior partners.
• Hourly rate after that: usually $400-$700 per hour for a mid-level family lawyer; senior partners can be $800+.
• Average uncontested separation: $3k-$8k all in if you and your ex agree on most things and use mediation.
• Average contested separation: $20k-$30k, sometimes much more if it goes to a final court hearing.
• Legal Aid: free if you meet the means and merits tests. Each state has its own Legal Aid Commission. Apply early; the wait can be weeks.
• Community Legal Centres: free, generalist, usually limited to one or two appointments. Good for an early sanity check.
• Family Relationship Centres (Commonwealth): free or low-cost mediation and information. Not a substitute for a lawyer but a good first stop.

A note on Legal Aid: the income thresholds are tight, but if you are recently separated, suddenly running on one income, and have kids, you may qualify even if you wouldn't have a year ago. Worth applying.

Before you book the appointment

Three things to do first.

• Book two consultations, not one. Different lawyers will give you different reads on the same situation. Pay for two opinions if you can. The variance is information.
• Make sure she has a different lawyer. You cannot share. Ever. Even if you both want to keep it civil. The same firm cannot act for both of you. Some firms will quietly refer you to a "colleague" in the same building. That is not a separate firm. Ask explicitly.
• Ask about the lawyer's bias. Some family lawyers run hot (court first, fight everything). Some run cold (mediation first, settle fast). Neither is wrong. You want the one whose temperature matches yours.

What to bring

Walking in with a folder of the right things turns a $500 hour of "let me ask you some basic questions" into a $500 hour of actual legal advice.

Bring:

• A one-page timeline of the relationship. Date you met, date you moved in, date you married (if you did), dates the kids were born, date of separation (the day she said it, or the day one of you moved out, whichever is first).
• The last 12 months of bank statements (joint and individual).
• The most recent payslip and tax return for both of you, if you have hers.
• The mortgage statement and the property's most recent rates notice or valuation.
• Most recent superannuation statement for both of you, if you have hers.
• A list of all assets (cars, property, shares, businesses, crypto, anything over $5k) and rough value.
• A list of all debts (mortgage, credit cards, personal loans, ATO debts, HECS).
• A short note on the kids: ages, schools, who does drop-off and pick-up on which days currently.
• A specific list of questions. Top of the page, biggest font.

If you don't have her financial documents, that is fine. Bring yours. The lawyer will explain how disclosure works.

What to ask

Junior lawyers in family firms write down what their clients ask in the first meeting. The good clients ask roughly the same things. Steal their list.

• Based on what I've told you, what is the realistic range of property settlement outcomes?
• What is the realistic range of parenting arrangements?
• What is your honest read on how long this will take?
• What is your hourly rate, who else will be working on my matter, and what are their rates?
• What can I do myself versus what do I need you for?
• Should we be doing mediation, and if so, when?
• What are the next three things I should do this week?
• What are the three things I should NOT do this week?
• If I needed Legal Aid or fixed-fee help, where would you point me?
• Who handles the file when you're on leave?

The two questions every first meeting must answer

Walk out of that meeting with answers to these two. If you don't have them, you have not had your meeting.

Question one: What is my realistic property settlement range?

In Australia, property is divided under section 79 of the Family Law Act using a four-step process: identify the asset pool, assess each party's contributions (financial and non-financial, including parenting), assess each party's future needs, and decide what is just and equitable. The lawyer cannot give you an exact number on day one. They can give you a band. ("Based on a 14-year marriage with two kids and roughly equal incomes, you are likely looking at a 45-55 split, possibly 40-60 in her favour given the kids' ages.")

If they refuse to give you any band at all, push. "I understand it depends. Give me the wide band." A lawyer who can't give you any range is either being too cautious or doesn't know yet.

Question two: What is the realistic parenting arrangement, given our situation?

Parenting in Australia operates under the principle of the best interests of the child, with a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility (which is about decision-making, not time). Time arrangements vary widely. The lawyer should be able to tell you, given your kids' ages, your work pattern, and the geography, what arrangements are common and what a court would likely order if it went that far.

You want a specific picture. Not "every case is different". Yes, every case is different. Ask anyway.

After the meeting

Within 24 hours, while it's fresh:

• Write down the answers to the two questions in your notebook.
• Note the lawyer's hourly rate and your gut read on whether you trust them.
• Compare with the second lawyer (you booked two, remember).
• Pick one. Don't agonise. They are mostly competent. Pick the one whose temperature matched yours.
• Sign the costs agreement only when you are sure. Read it. Especially the bit about how disbursements work.

A word on what a lawyer is not for

A lawyer is for: the law, the strategy, the paperwork, the negotiation, the court if it gets there.

A lawyer is not for: feelings, processing, late-night reassurance, deciding whether to leave or stay, telling you what to do with your kids' Sunday afternoon, fixing the relationship.

Every minute you spend crying in their office is billed at $500/hr. Cry to your mate, your therapist, your brother. Use the lawyer for law.

Two questions. Two opinions. One folder. Done.

Further watching

• Lawyer Explains 6 Steps To File For Divorce in Australia — John Bui, JB Solicitors (11:25)
• Here's How Assets Are Divided in Divorce (Explained in 11 Mins) — John Bui, JB Solicitors (11:20)