The court day, what to wear, what to say

The first time I walked into the Federal Circuit and Family Court at Lionel Bowen, I went the wrong way through the security gate, set off the metal detector with my belt buckle, and dropped my phone trying to put it back in my pocket. The security officer was patient. I was not. By the time I got to the right floor I had eight minutes before my matter was called, and I was sweating through a shirt that had been ironed two hours earlier. Nothing in that morning was about the law. It was all about logistics, and I had not respected the logistics.

What I learnt is that the court day is mostly choreography. The legal arguments matter, but the legal arguments are your barrister's job. Your job is to walk in calmly, sit in the right place, stand at the right time, say the right things, and not give the judge any reason to look at you twice. Get the choreography right and you free up the rest of your attention for what is actually being said about your life.

This is plain explanation, not legal advice. For your specific situation, see a solicitor.

What to wear

Dress like you are interviewing for a job you want. Not a job you are forced to want. A job you would actually like to have.

• Suit if you own one, otherwise dark trousers and a collared shirt
• Tie if it suits the suit, optional but tidy
• Closed-toe leather shoes, polished the night before
• Belt that matches the shoes
• Hair tidy, beard trimmed if you have one
• No jeans, no chinos with rips, no sneakers, no t-shirts, no logos
• No baseball cap, no sunglasses on the head
• No strong cologne (the courtrooms are small)

The point is not to impress the judge with your wardrobe. Judges have seen everything. The point is to signal respect for the room. A man in a suit is one less thing for the judge to think about. A man in cargo shorts is a small distraction at a moment when distraction is exactly what you do not want.

If you cannot afford a suit, borrow one. If you cannot borrow one, wear the best business clothes you have, ironed, clean, and tucked in. The court is a formal space. It does not care that you have a difficult morning. It cares that you came prepared.

When to arrive

Thirty minutes early. No later. If parking is hard around the court, make it forty-five.

You need time to find the building, get through security, find your courtroom on the daily list, find your lawyer, use the bathroom, drink some water, and sit down for five minutes before your matter is called. If you arrive ten minutes early and the lift is slow, you walk into the courtroom flustered, and you will spend the first half an hour catching up to what is happening.

Arrive at the building. Find a coffee somewhere nearby. Sit. Read your affidavit one more time. Walk in. That is the rhythm.

Getting in

Security at the door is airport-style. Belt off, phone out, laptop out of the bag, keys in the tray. They will ask if you have a knife (no), a pocket knife on a keyring (still no, leave it in the car), or any aerosol cans. Be polite. Move through.

The list of matters being heard that day is on a screen in the foyer or near the courtroom door. Find your name, your matter number, and your courtroom. Lawyers and barristers will be moving around in robes (in some courtrooms) or business attire (in most family law list days). Your solicitor or barrister will find you. If they have not, wait near the courtroom door, do not wander.

Where to sit

Inside the courtroom, the judge sits at the front on a raised bench. In front of the judge is the bar table, where the barristers and solicitors sit. Behind the bar table are rows of public seats. As a party (the person whose matter is being heard), you sit in the front row of the public seats, on your lawyer's side of the room. Your lawyer's side is usually the same side they walked in on, but they will gesture you to the right spot.

Phones off. Not silent. Off. A phone that buzzes during the wrong moment can earn you a contempt warning, and at best it makes you look careless. Put it in your bag, in your pocket, in another postcode if you have to, but switch it off.

If you brought support (a parent, a friend, a new partner), they sit further back, in general public seating. The court is open to the public unless suppressed, and that means anyone can be there, but only the parties and their representatives sit at the front.

What to call the judge

"Your Honour." Always. Never "sir", never "ma'am", never "judge" by itself. If you are addressing a registrar (a lower-level officer of the court who handles procedural matters), the form is also "Your Honour" in most contexts these days, though older usage was different.

You will not address the judge much. Most of the talking is done by your barrister or solicitor. If the judge asks you a direct question, you stand to answer. You start with "Your Honour", then you give the answer.

When to stand

Stand when the judge enters and leaves the courtroom. The court officer will say "all rise". You stand. You wait until the judge is seated and the officer indicates you can sit. You sit.

Stand when you are spoken to directly by the judge, even if it is just to confirm something. Stand when you take the witness box to give evidence. Stand when the judge makes the order at the end of your matter, even if you stay seated through most of the hearing.

If you are unsure whether to stand, watch your barrister. If they stand, you stand. If they sit, you sit.

The three-second rule

If you are giving evidence and the barrister for the other side asks you a question, count to three before you answer. Out loud, if it helps. Three full seconds.

The pause does three things. It gives your own barrister time to object if the question is improper, before you answer something you should not. It gives you time to actually understand what was asked, instead of answering the version of the question you expected. It slows the cross-examination down to a pace where you stay in control of your own breath.

Cross-examiners are trained to set a rhythm and pull you along in it. The three-second rule breaks the rhythm. It also makes you look thoughtful, which is a small but real benefit.

The "I do not know" answer

The most powerful three words in cross-examination are "I do not know." If you are asked a question and you genuinely do not know the answer, say so. Do not guess. Do not estimate. Do not say "probably" or "I think". Say "I do not know."

The temptation is to fill the silence, because silence in a courtroom feels longer than silence anywhere else. Resist it. A guess that turns out to be wrong is worse than an admission that you did not know. The barrister cannot follow up on "I do not know" without sounding like they are bullying you. They can absolutely follow up on a guess that contradicts a document.

The same goes for "I do not remember" and "I cannot recall". These are honest answers. Use them when they are true. Do not use them to dodge questions you can actually answer, because the judge will spot it.

The body metaphor is this. The witness box is like a balance beam. You are not trying to do anything fancy. You are trying not to fall off. Small steps. Eyes on the far end. No sudden moves.

What not to say

A short list of phrases that have ended men's hearings poorly.

• "With all due respect, Your Honour" (almost always followed by something disrespectful)
• "She is lying" (let your lawyer handle this through cross-examination)
• "If I could just explain" (the time to explain is when the question allows it)
• Anything sarcastic, anything muttered, anything addressed to the other party directly
• Any reference to evidence that has been ruled inadmissible

If you feel yourself getting heated, look at the wall above the judge's head and breathe. Your barrister has the floor. Let them work.

BREATHE between answers. Most witness mistakes are made on the in-breath of an interrupted thought. If you are still breathing out when you start to talk, you are not ready.

After the orders

When the judge makes the orders at the end of your matter, you stand. You listen. You do not react visibly, regardless of which way it went. The judge will say something like "I will make orders in those terms" or "the orders will be as agreed" or, in a contested matter, will give reasons and then make the orders.

You walk out behind your lawyer. You do not high-five. You do not glare at the other side. You wait until you are in the lift and the doors are closed before you say a word about it. Even then, keep it short. The court precinct has cafes and lifts and corridors full of other lawyers, other parties, other journalists in some matters. Your conversation belongs at home.

Final note

A court hearing is the most formal day you will have for years, possibly ever. The formality is not for show. It exists because what is being decided is too important for casual handling. Treat the room with the respect it expects, walk in with the choreography down, and you give yourself the best chance of being heard fairly.

Dress sharp. Arrive early. Speak less.