Skip to main content
HisJourney
The TrackerJourneysPartnersThe Dispatch
Sign inStart
← All journeys
§ Journey
HisJourney

A field manual for men in transition. Body. Mind. Money. The Room.

The site

  • The Tracker
  • Journeys
  • The Dispatch
  • Partners
  • The Room
  • The Pledge

By chapter

  • In crisis
  • New chapter
  • The long game
  • The Dispatch ↗

About

  • What this is
  • The Pledge
  • Methodology
  • Glossary
  • Colophon
  • Mobile app
  • Contact
  • Privacy

Field notes — the Dispatch

One short, practical essay every Friday. No spam, no upsells, easy to leave.

His·Journey · Sydney est. 2025The Ledger · The Room · The Pledge§ For men in transition

© 2026 HisJourney · Vol. II

The next chapter starts when you say it does.

TodayJourneysMarket
← All journeys
§ 01 · In crisis
A guided journey

When You Realise You're Gay (And You're Married).

You know now. The marriage and the children and the next forty years are the questions.

Length
About 10 weeks
Modules
6 · 40m
Done
0 / 6
0%Complete
6 modules · arc reads left → right
  1. The arc
  2. 01The realisation←
  3. 02Before you tell anyone
  4. 03Telling her
  5. 04The kids question
  6. 05The legal and financial
  7. 06On the other side

The realisation, and what you owe yourself before you owe anyone else. Time, therapy, and the conversation you''re not yet having. Telling her — how, where, what you can and can''t say. The kids question by age. The legal and financial reality of separation in this specific case. What life on the other side can look like.

Begin →
§ 01What you'll learn
  1. 01How to sit with the realisation before acting on it
  2. 02When (and whether) to tell your wife, and how
  3. 03How to handle the kids conversation by age
  4. 04The legal and financial reality in Australia
  5. 05How to find your people without performing or hiding
  6. 06What life on the other side can actually look like
§ 02Who it's for
  1. 01Realised it recently and haven't told anyone
  2. 02Knew for years and the marriage is now the conversation
  3. 03Already separated and trying to work out what comes next
§ 03 - The modules

6 sessions, in order.

Begin
  1. 01

    The realisation

    The moment of clarity, however it arrived. What you owe yourself first.

    6 min→
  2. 02

    Before you tell anyone

    Therapy first. Time. Why a single decision made fast at this moment is almost always the wrong one.

    7 min→
  3. 03

    Telling her

    How, where, what you can and can't say. What you owe her. What you owe yourself.

    7 min→
  4. 04

    The kids question

    By age. What to say. What to leave out. How to be honest without making the kids the audience for your own work.

    6 min→
  5. 05

    The legal and financial

    Separation, custody, property under Australian law. No-fault doesn't mean equal. The mediator's job. The lawyer's job.

    7 min→
  6. 06

    On the other side

    Identity. Dating. Friendships. Family. The version of life that begins on the day you stopped pretending.

    7 min→