I stopped trading on a Tuesday. By Wednesday morning I'd already promised four different people four different things I couldn't deliver. A supplier a partial payment I didn't have. A staff member a reference I hadn't thought through. My landlord that I'd "sort it by Friday." My wife that it would all be fine.
None of it was fine, and none of those promises should have been made in week one. That's the thing nobody tells you about the first week: your instinct is to fix everything immediately, and that instinct is wrong. The first week isn't for fixing. It's for finding out what you're actually dealing with.
What to do in the first 72 hours
Stop signing anything. No new contracts, no new invoices going out under the business name, no personal guarantees on anything else. If you're not sure whether something counts, don't sign it until you've had one conversation with an insolvency practitioner or a lawyer.
Get the numbers on one page. Not perfect numbers. A rough list: what's owed, to whom, and roughly when it's due. Bank balance. Any money coming in that's already committed elsewhere. You need this before you can have any other conversation, including the one with your partner.
Call an insolvency practitioner or a business lawyer before you call anyone else. In Australia this usually means a registered liquidator or a lawyer who does insolvency work, not your regular accountant (though loop them in too). This call costs a few hundred dollars and tells you which of the promises in your head are legally yours to keep and which aren't. Do this before you tell staff, before you tell creditors, before you tell your extended family.
Don't empty accounts or move assets. If the business or you personally end up in formal insolvency, moving money or assets in the days before that happens can be unwound or, in the worst cases, treated as an offence. Leave things where they are until you've had advice.
Who to call, in order
- An insolvency practitioner or insolvency lawyer — today if you can get one.
- Your accountant, if different — they'll know your specific debt structure.
- Your partner — after you've had the first professional conversation, so you're bringing her information, not panic.
- Your bank, if you have a business loan or overdraft — they'd rather hear from you early.
- Staff and major creditors — last, and covered in a later module, because how you tell them matters as much as when.
What not to promise anyone this week
"I'll pay you back personally" — you don't yet know what you can legally or financially commit to. Wait.
"It'll all be sorted by Friday" — nothing about business failure resolves in a week. Don't set an expectation you'll break in four days, on top of everything else.
"I've got another idea, we'll bounce back" — maybe true later. Not a week-one sentence. It reads as denial to everyone around you, even if it isn't.
Why you don't decide anything big yet
The instinct in week one is to make a decision — sell the van, quit the industry, take any job going, tell your wife you're fine when you're not. Don't. You're operating on four hours of sleep and a stress response, not clear judgement. The decisions that matter (structuring debts, what happens to the house, what you do next) go better in week three with real numbers in front of you than in week one on adrenaline.
The first week has one job: find out what's true. Everything else waits.
- 01Call an insolvency practitioner or insolvency lawyer before you tell anyone else — including your partner.
- 02Stop signing anything under the business name until you've had that first professional conversation.
- 03Get a rough one-page list of what's owed, to whom, and when — you need this before any other conversation.
- 04Don't move money or assets. It can be unwound later and looks worse than it is.
- 05Don't make big personal decisions in week one. You're not thinking clearly yet — that comes in week three.
- Separation
The first 30 days after she says it's over
A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about.
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The conversation you saw coming
How to start the talk you've been rehearsing in the shower for six months. A practical guide to the words, the room, the aftermath.
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The conversation you didn't
When she ends it and you didn't see it coming. The first 72 hours, the stories you'll tell yourself, and what to actually do.
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Ten questions to ask yourself before you decide
A self-interrogation guide for the man considering ending his marriage. Not advice. Questions. The hard ones, in order.
5 min