At thirty-three weeks my partner handed me a printed checklist with forty-seven items on it. I read it twice, then put the kettle on. The list was not the problem. The problem was that nobody had told me which items mattered in week one and which could wait until the baby was eating solids.
This is the bit nobody warns you about. The third trimester is mostly logistics. You become a project manager for an event with no fixed date, an unclear scope, and a stakeholder who is, understandably, not at her best.
Here is what I wish I had known.
Install the car seat early
The car seat is the only thing the hospital legally cares about. They will not discharge you without one fitted. In Australia most parents get the seat professionally installed (around a hundred dollars, sometimes free through council or private health). Book it for week 36, not week 39. You do not want to be doing this with a contraction timer on your phone.
Things that need to be done weeks before:
- Car seat installed and checked by a fitter
- Pram assembled (do this on a calm Sunday, not at 2am)
- Cot built, mattress in, sheets washed
- Nappy stash started (newborn size, then size one)
- Pediatrician/GP chosen and registered
Things that can wait until baby is here:
- Decoration of the nursery (you will sleep in your room with baby for months)
- Toys (newborns interact with light, not toys)
- Baby monitor configuration (set it up roughly, refine later)
The hospital bag
Pack two bags. One for her, one for you. If you pack one bag and she has to dig through your socks to find her toothbrush during transition, you will hear about it for years.
Her bag is hers to pack. Your job is to ask once, then not ask again. Your bag is yours.
What goes in your bag:
- Two changes of clothes (it gets warm, you will sweat)
- Phone charger with a long cable (hospital sockets are never near the chair)
- Snacks that do not smell (no tuna, no boiled eggs, your partner can smell everything)
- A water bottle
- Toiletries (toothbrush, deodorant, the basics)
- Slip-on shoes (you will be in and out of the room)
- A book or downloaded shows (labour has long quiet stretches)
- Cash and coins for parking
- ID, Medicare card, private health card if you have one
Do not pack a suit. Do not pack the camera you bought specifically for this. Your phone is fine.
The 'go' plan
The plan is not a plan. It is a sequence of decisions made in advance so you do not have to think when your hands are shaking.
Write down:
- The fastest route to the hospital, and the second-fastest if there is traffic
- Where you will park (and the cost, so you have cash)
- Who feeds the dog/cat/sourdough starter
- Which neighbour has a spare key
- The phone numbers of the two people you will tell first
Put all of this in a shared note. Not a Word document on your laptop. A note your partner can also see, in case you are the one who is unavailable.
The week-one jobs
The baby will arrive. The to-do list will not pause out of respect.
In the first week you will need to:
- Register the birth (free in most states if done within 60 days, paid if you delay)
- Add baby to your Medicare card via myGov
- Notify your employer and start your leave (more on this in a later module)
- Tell Centrelink so the family payments and DAPP can start being processed
None of this is urgent on day one. None of it should be done in the hospital. Write the list, stick it on the fridge, and start ticking after you are home and the dust has settled.
What to actually buy
Australian baby retail is a racket. The list of things you 'must have' is roughly four times longer than the list of things you will use.
You will use:
- A car seat (rear-facing capsule or convertible)
- A pram or carrier
- A cot or bassinet
- Newborn nappies (a lot of them)
- A few onesies in 0000 and 000
- A wrap or two
- A change mat
- Bottles, IF you are bottle-feeding (do not over-buy until you know what works)
You will not use, in week one:
- A nappy bin (a regular bin with a lid is fine)
- A wipe warmer
- Special baby laundry detergent (sensitive skin detergent works)
- Most of the clothes you have been gifted (newborns grow through 0000 in about three weeks)
Buy second-hand where you can, except for the car seat and the cot mattress. Those need to be new or recently checked.
The thing nobody tells you
The last few weeks of the third trimester are slow and weird. You will feel like you should be doing something. Most days, there is nothing to do. The work is psychological, not practical.
Walk together. Eat well. Sleep while you still can (and you can, more than you think). The list will get done. The plan will hold. Your job in this stretch is not to fix anything. It is to be the person who is steady when she cannot be.
Pack the bag. Fit the seat. Be calm.
Further watching
- 01Install the car seat by week 36, professionally fitted if possible.
- 02Pack two separate hospital bags so she does not dig through your socks.
- 03The go-plan is a shared note, not a Word document on your laptop.
- 04Australian baby retail oversells. Buy the car seat, cot mattress, nappies, basics.
- 05The third-trimester work is psychological. Be steady, not busy.
The car seat should be: