The letter to your family

I wrote the first version of mine on a long-haul flight back from Singapore in 2024. It took about forty minutes. It was bullet points, mostly. Bank logins, the master password to my password manager, the accountant's number, the solicitor's number, where the will was filed. At the bottom I wrote a paragraph that wasn't bullet points.

The letter is the simplest piece of estate paperwork most men ever write, and the one that closes the gap between "we have the documents" and "she actually knows where things are."

Why this letter exists

The will, the EPOA, the ACD and the binding super nominations are the legal infrastructure. They don't, on their own, tell anyone where things live.

Your partner walking into the day after will need to find:

• The will itself.
• Your password manager master password.
• The bank logins.
• The super funds and balances.
• The life insurance policy details.
• The accountant. The solicitor. The financial planner. The mortgage broker. The GP.
• Any subscriptions she might want to keep paying or cancel.

Most of this is in your head, your phone, or your work laptop. None of it is somewhere she can grab it on the worst week of her life.

What goes in it

A practical structure:

Section 1: The documents.

• Will. Where it is filed. Solicitor's name and number.
• EPOA. Where it is filed.
• ACD. Where it is filed.
• Marriage certificate, birth certificates.

Section 2: The money.

• Banks: list the names, the account types.
• Super funds: the names, my member numbers, the URL to log in.
• Life insurance: the insurer, the policy number, the claim phone number.
• Mortgage: the lender, the broker.
• Direct debits and subscriptions.

Section 3: The people.

• Accountant, solicitor, financial planner.
• GP and any specialists.
• Boss or HR contact.
• Three close mates.

Section 4: The passwords.

• The master password to my password manager. Or where it's stored (a sealed envelope, a written note, a code phrase).
• The phone unlock.
• The laptop password.

Section 5: The personal paragraph.

Two or three sentences, no more.

"If you're reading this, the worst has happened. Don't be polite. Use everything we've built. The kids will be fine because you're their mother. Tell my parents I love them. Ring [mate's name] before you ring anyone else."

Not a goodbye. A specific instruction set for the first 48 hours.

What not to put in it

• Don't write a goodbye letter. That's a different document.
• Don't list passwords in plain text. Point at the password manager.
• Don't make it confessional. This is the wrong document for "I should have told you about the credit card debt at Westpac." If there's something she needs to know, tell her now.
• Don't make it about your wishes for your funeral.

The aim is one A4 page, two at the most.

Where it lives

• A sealed envelope in the same place as the will.
• A shared note in 1Password or LastPass, marked "in case of." She has the master password.
• Both. Belt and braces.

Tell her you've written it.

The 40-minute exercise

Pick a Saturday. Open a blank document. Use the four-section structure above.

When you're done:

• Print one copy and put it in a sealed envelope with the will.
• Save a digital copy in the password manager.
• Tell your partner what you've done.
• Set a calendar reminder for every twelve months to update it.

Write it short. Write it true. Tell her where it is.

Further watching

• What is Probate or Letters of Administration in Australia?
• Applying For Probate in Australia