The day it happens

The day it happened to me, the calendar invite said "quick chat" and the room had three people in it. HR. My manager. Someone from finance I had never met. That is the formation. When you see it, you already know.

You will not feel ready. You do not need to be ready. You need to be slow.

The first ten minutes

They will read from a script. It will sound rehearsed because it is. There is a legal reason for the wording, and your job in those ten minutes is not to argue, negotiate or perform composure. Your job is to listen, take notes (literally, on paper or in a doc), and ask for everything in writing.

Three things will happen, in some order:

• A statement that your role is being made redundant
• An outline of the proposed package (notice, redundancy pay, leave payout)
• A request that you sign something, or at least acknowledge something, today

The third one is where men get into trouble. Adrenaline kicks in, you want the meeting to end, and a clean signature feels like control. It is not control. It is the opposite.

What not to sign on the spot

Do not sign:

• A deed of release / settlement deed
• A non-disparagement clause
• A revised reference letter wording
• Anything labelled "in full and final settlement"
• A confidentiality acknowledgement that goes beyond what is already in your contract

You can acknowledge that the meeting happened. You can accept a USB stick or a printout of the offer. You cannot give away your right to seek advice on what you are owed. Once that deed is signed, the conversation is over.

The line I used: "I appreciate you walking me through this. I will take it home, get advice, and come back to you within the week." Calm. Boring. Effective.

What to ask in the room

Bring this list in your head. Five questions, in order:

• Is this a genuine redundancy (the role is gone) or a performance-managed exit dressed up as one?
• What is the proposed last day, and what is the notice period being paid?
• How is the redundancy figure calculated (weeks per year of service, base salary or total package)?
• What happens to my unvested equity, bonus accrual, and any sales commission in flight?
• When does my email / Slack / laptop access get switched off?

Write the answers down. If they hedge on any of them, that is fine, you write "unanswered" next to it. The point is not to win the conversation. The point is to leave the room with an evidence trail.

The 48-hour window

Australian employers are not legally required to give you decision time on a deed of release, but most reasonable ones will, and the unreasonable ones will fold the moment you push. Ask for 48 hours minimum. Seven days is better. Reasoning you can use out loud: "I want to get independent legal advice, which is standard." That sentence ends most pushback.

In that window:

• Forward your employment contract, your last three payslips, your most recent performance review and any equity grant docs to your personal email
• Save personal contacts (your phone is fine, but also a CSV from your work address book if you can)
• Pull together work samples you can ethically take (your own writing, your own decks, anonymised case studies, nothing client-confidential)
• Write down the names and personal contact details of the five colleagues most likely to be your references in six months

Move fast. IT access goes off quicker than you think (sometimes mid-meeting, sometimes that evening).

Who to call before you call anyone else

In order:

• A workplace lawyer (one hour, fixed fee, around the $300-500 mark in most capitals). They read the deed, they tell you what is normal and what is not. Money well spent.
• Your accountant, briefly, to flag what is coming through the payroll so they can model the tax
• Your partner, if you have one, with the actual numbers and not the panic
• One trusted mate who has been through it. Not five. One.

What you do not do on day one: post on LinkedIn, email the whole team, draft a letter to the CEO, or accept the first counter-offer if there is one. Adrenaline is a bad project manager.

The thing nobody tells you

You will replay the meeting for a week. The smile from HR. The way your manager would not look at you. The fluorescent light. It will feel personal because it is happening to you, but the decision was almost certainly made in a spreadsheet two months ago, by someone you have never met, weighing cost lines against headcount. It is not about your worth. It is about the org chart.

That does not make it hurt less. It does mean you do not need to win an argument that nobody is having with you.

Sit. Breathe. Sign nothing. Come back Monday.

What "genuine redundancy" actually means

Australian law draws a sharp line between a genuine redundancy (the role itself is no longer needed) and a managed exit dressed up to look like one. The distinction matters for two reasons: tax treatment of your payout, and your legal options if you want to push back.

A genuine redundancy means:

• The job, not just the person, is gone
• The employer cannot reasonably redeploy you elsewhere in the business
• Consultation obligations under any award or enterprise agreement have been met

If any of those three is shaky (your role is being backfilled, there is an obvious internal redeployment they did not offer, the consultation was a single 20-minute meeting), you have a Fair Work conversation to have. That is what the workplace lawyer is for.

You do not raise this in the room. You raise it in writing, after advice, within the timeframes (usually 21 days for an unfair dismissal claim, shorter for some general protections claims). Note the dates. The clocks are short.

Before you walk out of the building

Five things, in order, before you leave the office for the last time:

• Forward your contract, last three payslips, latest performance review and any equity docs to your personal email
• Export your contacts (CSV from Outlook, screenshots if all else fails)
• Clear personal photos and files from your laptop and desk drawer
• Say goodbye to two or three people you trust, in person, with their personal numbers
• Walk out with your head up, a single box, no parting speech

Further watching

• What Nobody Tells You About Getting Laid Off — Dr Benjamin Ritter (17:15)
• Why You Should Talk About Your Anxiety at Work — Adam Whybrew, TED (11:57)