# HisJourney > A private operating system for a man’s life. Structured > learning modules for the transitions nobody prepared him > for, a tracker that holds his whole picture on one page, > and providers when he needs one. ## What we cover - Separation, divorce, and co-parenting - Redundancy, business failure, and financial reset - Retirement planning, FIRE, property investing, debt payoff - Men’s mental and physical health, habit-building, and resilience ## Primary audience Men past 40 navigating major life transitions in Australia, the UK, and the US. Practical, not motivational. Quiet, not loud. ## Key pages - Home: https://hisjourney.org/ - Learning Modules: https://hisjourney.org/journeys - Journeys: https://hisjourney.org/trails - guided paths that put the learning modules for your chapter in order - Field notes (articles): https://hisjourney.org/resources - Providers: https://hisjourney.org/market - About: https://hisjourney.org/about - Install as an app: https://hisjourney.org/mobile ## Learning Modules - [Navigating Separation](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/navigating-separation) - The first 90 days of getting through this. - [Bouncing Back from Redundancy](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/bouncing-back-redundancy) - Knocked off the perch. Getting back on it. - [First-Time Father](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/first-time-father) - Nobody really prepares you for this. - [Get Fit at 40+](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/get-fit-at-40) - Strength, energy, longevity. The training your 40s actually need. - [Retire by 50](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/retire-by-50) - Financial independence, properly. Maths, levers, no get-rich-quick. - [Divorce Survival Guide](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/divorce-survival) - From paperwork to the new chapter, without losing the plot. - [Health Scare](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/health-scare) - When your body sounds the alarm. - [The Marriage in Trouble](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/marriage-in-trouble) - Before "we need to talk". When something is wrong and you don't know what. - [Grief: Losing a Parent](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/grief-losing-a-parent) - The death you knew was coming. The year that follows. - [Caring for an Ageing Parent](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/caring-for-an-ageing-parent) - Your mum or dad is changing. The operating manual. - [The First Year (Fatherhood, months 4–18)](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/the-first-year) - Where the easy part ends and the genuinely hard parenting begins. - [After Divorce: The First Year Back](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/after-divorce-first-year-back) - Single again, not starting over. Identity, money, friendship, dating, kids. - [Career Pivot at 45+](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/career-pivot-at-45) - Starting again, not over. Without the LinkedIn theatre. - [Quitting Drinking — The First 90 Days](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/quitting-drinking) - Not AA, not sober-curious. A 90-day field manual. - [Estate, Will and What Happens If](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/estate-will-and-what-happens-if) - The hour of paperwork that protects everyone you love. - [Quitting Weed — The First 90 Days](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/quitting-weed) - Not stoner-shaming, not zero-tolerance. A 90-day field manual. - [Untangling Porn — A 90-Day Audit](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/untangling-porn) - Not NoFap, not shame. A behavioural audit for men who want their attention back. - [Single Again at 40](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/single-again-at-40) - Dating and meeting women in your forties, without the pickup-artist theatre. - [When You Realise You're Gay (And You're Married)](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/when-you-realise-youre-gay) - You know now. The marriage and the children and the next forty years are the questions. - [Depression — What to Do First](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/depression-what-to-do-first) - Action protocol for when your head is the trunk of the problem. - [When the Business Goes Under](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/when-the-business-goes-under) - The weeks after the revenue stops and the reality sets in. - [Moved to a New Country](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/moved-to-a-new-country) - The first year of starting over somewhere new — practical, financial, and human. - [Quitting Smoking](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/quitting-smoking) - The first 72 hours, the replacement problem, and the 90-day verdict. - [Quitting Sex Addiction](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/quitting-sex-addiction) - The pattern, the secrecy, the disclosure question, and what actually helps. - [Quitting Nail Biting](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/quitting-nail-biting) - Forty years of the same habit, and the one method built for it. - [Getting Back Into Dating](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/getting-back-into-dating) - The rules changed while you were married. Here's what actually matters now. - [Dating Without the Apps](https://hisjourney.org/journeys/dating-without-the-apps) - The swipe economy isn't the only economy. A real-world plan. ## Field notes - [The first 30 days after she says it's over](https://hisjourney.org/resources/first-30-days-after-she-says-its-over) - A blunt field guide to the first month after the conversation. Sleep, paperwork, the kids, and the part nobody warns you about. - [The conversation you saw coming](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-conversation-you-saw-coming) - How to start the talk you've been rehearsing in the shower for six months. A practical guide to the words, the room, the aftermath. - [The conversation you didn't](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-conversation-you-didnt) - When she ends it and you didn't see it coming. The first 72 hours, the stories you'll tell yourself, and what to actually do. - [Ten questions to ask yourself before you decide](https://hisjourney.org/resources/ten-questions-before-you-decide) - A self-interrogation guide for the man considering ending his marriage. Not advice. Questions. The hard ones, in order. - [Signs the marriage is failing: explained](https://hisjourney.org/resources/signs-the-marriage-is-failing) - The patterns that show up before the conversation does. Not a checklist of doom, a checklist of honesty. Read it slowly. - [Moving out without burning it down](https://hisjourney.org/resources/moving-out-without-burning-it-down) - The logistics of the first move. What to take, what to leave, what to document, and how to keep the kids steady through it. - [The first week of living alone](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-first-week-of-living-alone) - The unfamiliar quiet of a flat that isn't yet home. A practical and honest guide to the first seven days on your own. - [Separation vs divorce in Australia, the bit nobody explains](https://hisjourney.org/resources/separation-versus-divorce-in-australia) - What separation actually is in Australian law, why divorce is the easy bit, and where the real money and time goes. Plain English. - [What divorce actually costs in Australia](https://hisjourney.org/resources/what-divorce-actually-costs-in-australia) - The real cost of divorce isn't the filing fee. It's the eighteen months of lawyer hours, missed work, and the second mortgage you didn't see coming. - [Mediation vs court, which path fits you](https://hisjourney.org/resources/mediation-vs-court-which-path-fits-you) - Mediation works when you both still want to be reasonable. Court is what you do when one of you stops. Pick honestly. - [How to prepare for mediation, properly](https://hisjourney.org/resources/how-to-prepare-for-mediation) - Mediation isn't a conversation. It's an exam. The blokes who walk in prepared walk out with a deal they can live with. - [The divorce paperwork walkthrough](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-divorce-paperwork-walkthrough) - Divorce in Australia is one application, one fee, one hearing you might not even have to attend. The actual hard paperwork is everything else. - [Settlement, what a fair deal actually looks like](https://hisjourney.org/resources/settlement-what-a-fair-deal-looks-like) - Fair isn't 50/50. Fair is the s79 four-step process applied honestly. Most blokes don't know what they're entitled to or what they're giving up. - [Protecting your assets without being a prick](https://hisjourney.org/resources/protecting-your-assets-without-being-a-prick) - There's a clean version of asset protection that's just good record-keeping and disclosure. Then there's the version that ends careers. Stay in the first one. - [Prenups, postnups, and binding financial agreements](https://hisjourney.org/resources/prenups-postnups-and-binding-financial-agreements) - BFAs aren't just for the rich. They're a tool, with a price tag, a procedure, and a real-world strike rate that nobody quotes you upfront. - [The essential steps when divorce is coming](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-essential-steps-when-divorce-is-coming) - The 90 days before separation are worth more than the next 18 months combined. Here's the order of operations that actually matters. - [Telling the kids, by age](https://hisjourney.org/resources/telling-the-kids-by-age) - How to tell children their parents are separating, calibrated to age. What works at 4 won't land at 14, and pretending otherwise hurts. - [50/50 or not, the honest conversation](https://hisjourney.org/resources/50-50-or-not-the-honest-conversation) - Equal-time parenting sounds fair on paper. The honest version is messier, and the kids' age and your geography matter more than ideology. - [Father custody rights in Australia, in plain English](https://hisjourney.org/resources/father-custody-rights-australia) - What Australian family law actually says about fathers and custody, with the 2024 reforms factored in. No mythology, no scare stories. - [Child support, the formula explained](https://hisjourney.org/resources/child-support-the-formula-explained) - How Services Australia calculates child support: the eight steps, what each parent's income does to the number, and the result. - [Co-parenting apps actually worth using](https://hisjourney.org/resources/co-parenting-apps-worth-using) - The three apps separated parents pick, what each does well, and why the right answer depends on how much conflict you're managing. - [The step-by-step guide for divorced dads](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-step-by-step-divorced-dad-guide) - A 12-month playbook for the practical stuff: emotional, parental, financial, legal. In the order you'll actually need it. - [Finding the right therapist (as a man who's never tried)](https://hisjourney.org/resources/finding-the-right-therapist-as-a-man) - Cancelled my first session twice. Here's the practical map I wish I'd had before I sat in the car park rehearsing what to say. - [The emotional stages of divorce, and how each one breaks you](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-emotional-stages-of-divorce) - Denial, grief, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. They cycle like weather. What each stage feels like, and what helps. - [Loneliness after divorce, ten things that actually help](https://hisjourney.org/resources/loneliness-after-divorce) - Bought a hose fitting I didn't need just to talk to the bloke at Bunnings. Ten things that moved the needle on post-divorce loneliness. - [Mental health support for divorced men, where to find it](https://hisjourney.org/resources/mental-health-support-for-divorced-men) - MHCP, MensLine, Mindspot, This Way Up, Lysn. The Australian map of what works, what costs what, and what to call tonight. - [Online therapy options, compared](https://hisjourney.org/resources/online-therapy-options-compared) - Lysn, BetterHelp, Mindspot, This Way Up, MensLine. What each one costs, who it suits, and which to start with this week. - [Building a support network when you don't have one](https://hisjourney.org/resources/building-a-support-network-from-scratch) - Wednesday night, no one to call. The honest map for rebuilding adult male friendship from a low base, without pretending to be someone else. - [The 'best divorce lawyer' question, answered properly](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-best-divorce-lawyers-question) - Why 'who's the best divorce lawyer in Australia' is the wrong question, and the right questions to ask instead before you sign anything. - [Your first meeting with a family lawyer](https://hisjourney.org/resources/your-first-meeting-with-a-family-lawyer) - What to bring, what to ask, what to expect to spend. A practical prep guide for the appointment that sets the tone for everything else. - [Navigating child support as a divorced father](https://hisjourney.org/resources/navigating-child-support-as-a-divorced-father) - The inside view of the system: how to handle changes, what to push back on, and how to keep the kids out of the financial talk. - [Divorce rights in Australia, the basics](https://hisjourney.org/resources/divorce-rights-australia-the-basics) - What the Family Law Act gives you, what divorce really means in legal terms, and the difference between divorce and settlement. - [Financial planning after divorce, seven moves that matter](https://hisjourney.org/resources/financial-planning-after-divorce) - Divorce halves the household income and doubles the admin. Seven moves I'd make in the first six months, ranked by what actually matters. - [Rebuilding your life after divorce](https://hisjourney.org/resources/rebuilding-your-life-after-divorce) - Rebuilding isn't a single decision. It's a thousand small ones, made on bad days, that eventually point in the same direction. - [The single-income mortgage conversation](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-single-income-mortgage-conversation) - On one income the mortgage maths flips. Here's the conversation I had with myself, the bank, and the broker, in that order. - [The day you get made redundant](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-day-you-get-made-redundant) - What to actually do in the first 24 hours after a redundancy meeting, from someone who's been in the chair twice. - [Understanding your redundancy rights](https://hisjourney.org/resources/understanding-your-redundancy-rights) - What you're actually owed under the NES, what you can negotiate, and when to call a lawyer before you sign. - [How to job-search after 40](https://hisjourney.org/resources/how-to-job-search-after-40) - The job-search playbook changes after 40. Network, recruiters, contracting, and what stops working at the front door. - [The LinkedIn rebuild](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-linkedin-rebuild) - What to fix on your LinkedIn after redundancy, why the headline matters most, and the half-day rebuild plan. - [Contracting or permanent, after redundancy](https://hisjourney.org/resources/contracting-or-permanent-after-redundancy) - The real maths on day rate vs salary, when each makes sense after redundancy, and the hybrid most people miss. - [Talking about being made redundant](https://hisjourney.org/resources/talking-about-being-made-redundant) - How to tell your partner, kids, mates, and network without spinning, panicking, or burning bridges you'll need. - [The third-trimester prep list](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-third-trimester-prep-list) - What you actually need ready before the baby arrives, from a first-time dad who learnt most of it the hard way. - [What the birth is actually like (for the partner watching)](https://hisjourney.org/resources/what-the-birth-is-actually-like) - Honest notes on what the partner does, sees and feels in the birth room, from a dad who was there. - [The first six weeks with a newborn, by the hour](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-first-six-weeks-with-a-newborn) - An honest, hour-by-hour look at the newborn fog from a dad who tracked it (because he had to). - [How the relationship shifts after the baby](https://hisjourney.org/resources/how-the-relationship-shifts-after-the-baby) - What changes between you and your partner once the baby arrives, and how to keep the relationship in the room. - [Parental leave in Australia, explained for dads](https://hisjourney.org/resources/parental-leave-in-australia-explained) - How Dad and Partner Pay, employer leave, and the newborn payments work in Australia, in plain English. - [Staying yourself as a new dad](https://hisjourney.org/resources/staying-yourself-as-a-new-dad) - How to keep your identity, friendships and inner life intact through the first year of fatherhood. - [Why your old workout doesn't work anymore](https://hisjourney.org/resources/why-your-old-workout-doesnt-work) - The five-day split that built me at 30 was breaking me at 42. Here is what the evidence (and my Garmin) said to change. - [The four lifts that matter after 40](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-four-lifts-after-40) - Squat, hinge, press, pull. Two sessions a week. The unsexy programme that out-builds any spreadsheet of accessories. - [Protein targets for men over 40](https://hisjourney.org/resources/protein-targets-for-men-over-40) - 1.6 to 2.2 grams per kilo of bodyweight, spread across the day. The number that quietly decides whether you hold muscle past 50. - [Zone 2 and VO2 max, the actual metrics that matter](https://hisjourney.org/resources/zone-2-and-vo2-max-the-actual-metrics) - Two cardio numbers predict how well you'll move into your seventies. Most men train in the grey zone between them. - [Sleep as a training input](https://hisjourney.org/resources/sleep-as-a-training-input) - Most men over 40 treat sleep as overhead. The data says it is the largest single recovery lever you've got. - [Coming back from an injury without restarting](https://hisjourney.org/resources/coming-back-from-an-injury-without-restarting) - Full rest is yesterday's protocol. Relative rest plus structured loading gets you back faster, and stronger than before. - [The Australian FIRE number, calculated honestly](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-australian-fire-number) - Most FIRE calculators are American. Here's how I run the number for an AU context, with super, tax, and a realistic withdrawal rate. - [Super vs ETFs vs property, the real comparison](https://hisjourney.org/resources/super-vs-etfs-vs-property-the-real-comparison) - Three asset classes, three tax treatments, three return profiles. Here's how I split capital across them and why. - [The three-ETF portfolio that beats most active funds](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-three-etf-portfolio-that-wins) - Three tickers, one rebalance a year, no stock picking. Here's the AU-resident portfolio I'd defend in front of any active manager. - [Property as an investment, the honest version](https://hisjourney.org/resources/property-as-an-investment-the-honest-version) - What the property spruikers won't tell you about returns, costs, and the years that quietly bleed. - [Debt recycling, explained](https://hisjourney.org/resources/debt-recycling-explained) - Debt recycling turns non-deductible mortgage debt into deductible investment debt. Here's the mechanic, the maths, and the risks. - [Lifestyle creep, the quiet killer of wealth](https://hisjourney.org/resources/lifestyle-creep-and-the-quiet-killer-of-wealth) - Lifestyle creep doesn't show up in a single decision. It compounds across hundreds of small ones, and it'll outlive any pay rise. - [The annual health check men skip](https://hisjourney.org/resources/the-annual-health-check-men-skip) - BP, lipids, glucose, skin, mood, plus the screens specific to men past 40. 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Pinnock](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-bianca-m-pinnock-potomac-md) - Family Law · Potomac, MD - [Crockers Property Management](https://hisjourney.org/market/crockers-pm-nz) - Residential property management · Auckland specialist · Auckland - [Foxtons Lettings & Property Management](https://hisjourney.org/market/foxtons-uk) - Residential property management · London · London - [Savills Residential Lettings & PM](https://hisjourney.org/market/savills-residential-lettings-uk) - Premium residential lettings & PM · London - [Hamptons Lettings & Property Management](https://hisjourney.org/market/hamptons-uk) - Premium residential lettings & PM · London - [Belvoir](https://hisjourney.org/market/belvoir-uk) - Residential lettings & PM · national franchise · Grantham, Lincolnshire - [Leaders](https://hisjourney.org/market/leaders-uk) - Residential lettings & PM · national · Worthing, West Sussex - [Douglas C. Cranmer](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-douglas-c-cranmer-wichita-ks) - Family Law · Wichita, KS - [Alistair Polson](https://hisjourney.org/market/uk-alistair-polson-london-greater-london) - Family law barrister · EC4Y, London - [Dan Foster, LMSW](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-detroit-pt-dan-foster-foster-counseling-w2) - Men's mental health, depression, divorce recovery, life transitions - [Edward E. Beck](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-edward-e-beck-fort-wayne-in) - Family Law Mediation · Fort Wayne, IN - [Kirk B. 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Maurer](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-patrick-l-maurer-virginia-beach-va) - Family Law · Virginia Beach, VA - [Miranda Caroline Harvey](https://hisjourney.org/market/nz-miranda-caroline-harvey-auckland) - Family · Auckland, Auckland Region - [John A Sinnott & Co Solicitors](https://hisjourney.org/market/ie-john-a-sinnott-co-solicitors) - Family Law · Enniscorthy, Wexford, Ireland - [Philippa Hemery](https://hisjourney.org/market/uk-philippa-hemery-london-greater-london) - Mediator · London, London - [Marshall Sales](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-tx-austin-bl-hennan-culp-pllc-marshall-sales) - Family law - [Zenarruza & Zenarruza Abogados](https://hisjourney.org/market/ar-buenos-aires-zenarruza) - Family law and adoptions - [Babbe LLP](https://hisjourney.org/market/gg-st-peter-port-babbe) - - [Davidson - Career Transition Brisbane](https://hisjourney.org/market/davidson-career-transition-brisbane-brisbane-qld) - Career transition and outplacement · Brisbane, QLD - [Cedeño Law Office](https://hisjourney.org/market/ph-cede-o-law-office) - Family Law · Cebu City, Philippines - [John P. Racine, Jr.](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-john-p-racine-jr-traverse-city-mi) - Family Law · Traverse City, MI - [James Seymour Notary Public](https://hisjourney.org/market/ie-james-seymour-notary-public) - Family Law · Galway, Galway, Ireland - [LAW CHAMBER OF ADVOCATE RAJVEER SINGH](https://hisjourney.org/market/in-law-chamber-of-advocate-rajveer-singh-kolkata) - Family Law · Kolkata, West Bengal - [Keith A. Jones](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-keith-a-jones-tulsa-ok) - Family Law · Tulsa, OK - [Frost Wealth Advisors San Antonio](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-san-antonio-naepc-frost-bank) - Wealth and estate planning - [Ben Eydmann](https://hisjourney.org/market/uk-ben-eydmann-london-greater-london) - Counsellor / psychotherapist · London, London - [Alma Soongi Beck](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-ca-redwood-shores-bl-lathrop-gpm-llp-alma-soongi-beck) - Estate planning - [Lifeline Geelong (Lifeline Direct)](https://hisjourney.org/market/lifeline-geelong-lifeline-direct-geelong-vic) - Crisis support, suicide prevention · Geelong, VIC - [Nicole M. 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Paul](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-tx-austin-bl-mcginnis-lochridge-douglas-j-paul) - Estate planning - [Sean Tobaygo](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-sean-tobaygo-sarasota-fl) - Family Law · Sarasota, FL - [WDHJ Law (West Virginia Family Lawyer)](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-west-virginia-charleston-wdhj-law) - Family law - [Susan Carol Elgin](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-susan-carol-elgin-towson-md) - Family Law · Towson, MD - [Vickie Adams](https://hisjourney.org/market/us-vickie-adams-rolling-hills-estates-ca) - Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) · Rolling Hills Estates, CA - [Darren Cheek](https://hisjourney.org/market/uk-darren-cheek-london-greater-london) - Counsellor / psychotherapist · London, London - [Family Counselling Centre Tata Institute of Social Sciences](https://hisjourney.org/market/in-family-counselling-centre-tata-institute-of-social-sciences-mumbai) - Family Counselling · Deonar, Mumbai, Maharashtra ## Policy HisJourney is a private space. 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